Not So Awesome Love
by Blackie Berlitz and Aster
Summary: Prussia confides in his diary about his ill fated love confession. Rater T for an F-bomb and mentions of drug use.


Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers…obviously. It belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya

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_Dear Diary, It's been so long. I'm sorry I haven't written. I know I should be in the habit of doing this every day, but nothing awesome enough to write about has been happening lately. So, I suppose I should write about some of the not so awesome stuff I have been going through. If you can believe it, I haven't been feeling that well lately. No, I don't have the flu or anything like that. Sit back, relax, and I will tell you of my not so awesome adventure in love. _

It was very close to what one would call the perfect day; the perfect spring day. The sun was shining and the sky was the kind of blue that lulls one into falsely thinking that nothing could go wrong. Yep, it was the perfect Saturday morning. Outside one could hear the chirping of various birds, the cars speeding down the road, with no regard to anyone's safety, for as we all know, no one but that one not so awesome person who insists on mowing the lawn so very early in the morning (we all know who you are) is up at that time of the day.

That is when the not so awesome sun chose to shine through my window. The beams hit my closed eyes and woke me from my very awesome dream. Now what's the first thing most people do the moment they wake up? Go to the washroom right? Not me though. My very awesome self reached over to the glass of water sitting on top of my book case. I took a long drink, letting the room temperature liquid slide down my dry gullet (Yeah, I'll tell you something not so very awesome about the very awesome me. I tend to sleep with my mouth slightly open. This causes me to drool and wake up horribly dry. You won't tell anyone…right?).

This is when I slide out of bed and head to the Washroom. I won't tell you about that. We all know some not so awesome stuff happens in there, but let it be known; I go in morning awesome and come out rest of the day awesome.

I make my way down stairs. Hand on the wooden handrail, feet bouncing off each step, and came to land in the Kitchen. Not a speck of dust could be seen anywhere, but I knew West and Feliciano had already had breakfast and left. West had planned to purpose that day, and I thought Feliciano would probably say yes. They always seem so close, but enough about them.

Passing by our Dining room table (Yeah, I'm too awesome to eat breakfast) and entering the relatively well decorated living room I immediately turned on the TV which, to my horror, reminded me what day it was…Valentine's day…most dreaded holiday for all us single folk out there. Can I confide something in you? 'Corse I can. You are nothing but a book that no one but myself can read, because I chose the best hiding place for you ever. Not to mention the secret code I came up with to write in. (Haha! West…you can't read this). Anyway, although I seem fine, sometimes I wish I had someone to spend this special day of love with. It really does make me jealous to see all the happy couples.

At that moment the spinning pink bunnies of my mind started to chant the same thing.

"Confess your love, confess your love, confess your love"

"I WILL!" I shouted to no one in particular. And we all know, when you shout to no one in particular, it's a vow to yourself, and that means you have to do it.

So I headed back up stairs to find something appropriate and awesome to wear. I couldn't confess in my undershorts, well I could, but my love is a proper one. Those particular undershorts would not be appreciated.

When in my room, I made my way to my closet, opened the door and peered inside. My closet was full of clothes (Unlike West's, which was full handcuffs, paddles and the like). I had no idea how much clothes I had, until I actually tried looking for something to wear. My hand shot in my closet and randomly chose something.

When I saw what was in my hand, I was horrified.

"I still have this!" I said staring at the vomit stained shirt. This particular shirt was from the night the pot didn't agree with Matt. Oh, good times. (Blugh!). This wouldn't do; in fact, I had to get rid of this shirt. So into my trash can it went.

I continued on like this for about a half hour. Pulling out everything from the costume I wore last year to England's masquerade ball to that one ugly sweater I only have to wear once a year when that person who gave it to me(You know who you are)comes round. By that time I know this method either wasn't working or I really had nothing good enough to confess in. Looking at the clothes tossed around my room, I knew it was the latter. So, sadly, I settled on just wearing my uniform.

Oh…will you excuse me for a moment…I have to feed Gilbird. **Haha…**_**East**_**…I cracked your code a long time ago. I had no idea your mind was full of spinning pink bunnies. So much makes sense now.**

Geh! Fuck West! Now I have to come up with a new secret code. THAT IS NOT AWESOME! But if anyone can do it, it's the awesome me. Now…where was I…oh right. I settled on just wearing my uniform.

(Note to Self: buy new wardrobe)

I won't bore you with the details of me leavening the house, or walking down our relatively normal street…minus that one house that always seems to be emitting banging sounds (I wonder if he's making fireworks or Meth or something). Let's just skip ahead to the scene at the book store.

I saw my love standing there. I had gathered up the strength to do it. I was going to confess. I was confident. I wish I could tell you that I waltzed up to my love, confessed my undying passion, and then the two of us went back to my place for some hot steamy love…but I didn't, and that never happened.

Just as I was about to waltz up to my love and confess my undying passion, the least awesome person that could appear at that time walked up to my love. They started talking, and the worst part was that they actually looked happy to be talking to one another…were they back together? I didn't stick around to find out. The moment I felt tears welling up in my eyes I left. I bet if you were standing there, which would be funny as you are nothing but a book, you could have seen the moment when my awesome heart ripped in two.

Now, I never really cry over anything. I'm too awesome for that, but I was so hurt by what I saw, that the moment I got home I could not help letting it all out. I ran up the stairs and through myself onto my bed. I buried my face in my pillow and cried. I was shaking I was crying so hard. I bet I sounded like a baby who scraped his knee, but I didn't care. Not at that moment.

I can't tell you how long I cried, but I only noticed I had stopped when I heard my dear brother enter the house, sans Feliciano …could he be alone? No, Italy was always with him, unless…he was just as unawesome today as I was. A kindred spirit. Someone to confide in.

I slipped off my bead and wiped my face. I made my way slowly to the door. I reached for the door knob, when I heard a voice. A voice that struck me right in the heart. I couldn't make out what it was saying, but I knew it was my love. My love was with my brother. I couldn't go down there. I let my outstretched hand fall. I felt the tears come to my eyes again. No, I thought to myself, I can't cry again. I have to defeat the demon that keeps my love from me. I am awesome. I am Prussia. That brat is not taking my awesome love from me again.

I straightened up. Head held high, shoulders back, look of determination on face; I opened my bedroom door and headed toward the stairs. The voice of my love reached my ears once more. I didn't note the strange absence of the voice of the other one from the book store.

I walked into the living room just in time to hear the words "Strange flashback" from West. (Note to Self: Ask him about that later). They were sitting rather close. My love's hand on my brother's knee, in a comforting way. Thank Fritz. Poor West, Feliciano must have said no…

I could not lose my confidence now. I walked up to my love and kneeled before him. I looked up into his rather confused face (for the record, West looked just as confused.) taking in every detail. From those bright eyes behind the glasses, to that mole, that would have looked gross on anyone else. Every inch was perfect.

I took both of his hands, took a deep breath and begun my heart filled confession. I suppose you can already tell where this went, as I told you in the beginning that this was a not so awesome adventure in love, but you tell me, how could one say no to this confession? I can't understand it.

"Roderich, from the moment I first lay eyes on your awesome face so many centuries ago, you were the only thing I could think of. Every day I thought of you and only you. It was driving me insane, and forced me to commit terrible acts against you. I'm truly sorry my awesome self tried to forcefully take your vital reigns….My I have permission to seize your vital reigns…I mean …(By this time I was nervous and flustered. Yes, my awesome self was flustered). Will you go out with me?"

My love and my brother stared at me for a moment. I felt embarrassed. Maybe I shouldn't have confessed, I thought, he probably thinks I'm an idiot. Then, my love spoke.

"Gilbert, are you aware that it's Valentine's Day…not April Fools? "

At that moment my confidence was through the floor. My love was looking at me with that 'you are lower than dirt' look on his face. West was still wallowing in self pity.

"I…I'm sorry I bothered you" I said as I stood, turned, and started to walk away. I felt the tears once more. I couldn't allow him to see them, awesome tears though I thought they were. Once I hit the door frame I ran. I ran back up the stairs, back into my room (slamming the door behind me), and flopped onto my bed. I can't cry again…I won't cry again, I told myself, but I need to let the pain out.

My eyes move to the fake floor board next to my desk. I get up, walk over to it, and open it.

List of things in my floor:

Candy from two years ago

Secretly snapped pictures of my beloved (sniffle)

Weed (Heh heh…where did that come from?)

My diary…

That's what I needed. The one thing that would always listen, and never judge. I put everything else back in my floor. I sat down at my desk (and it's an awesome mahogany desk too), opened the book, grabbed a pen, and began to write: _Dear Diary, It's been so long. I'm sorry I haven't written. I know I should be in the habit of doing this every day, but nothing awesome enough to write about has been happening lately._

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A/N: There you have it. My first Hetalia fic…and it's about Prussia…of all people. It's strange. I never thought I would write Prussia, mostly because I don't care for him most of the time. Perhaps I am catching the Prussia bug. God I hope not. So, there is a story behind this fic. The morning I typed this; the internet was down. So I have no prewritten ruff draft to it. It's just a pulled straight from my ass oneshot. So, if you like it, I may write a part two if I get enough demand for it.


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